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by Michael Kiely

on Mar 19

Kiely: Copywriting

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My friend Fred received a letter from Julian Potter recently. Julian is head of Macquarie Bank Cards. It was part of a mail piece sent to shareholders to sell them a Platinum card. I was struck dumb by Julian's words.

“Dear Frederick
There comes a time when the old way of doing things needs to be re-evaluated. When convention has to be reconsidered. That time is now and we are making it easy.” (Fred thinks: “What the **** is this about?” I tell Fred it's not Julian, it's his copywriter having a fit of hysteria nervosa.) It goes on: “Introducing the Macquarie Bank Visa Platinum Card: the new form of currency.” The new form of currency? Later it is described as “a card that takes you beyond traditional currency.” And in the brochure it says it “redefines the notion of currency”. Don't all cards do that? Traditional currency being notes and coins. At the height of the copywriter's hysteria, we are to be “inspired by the thought of being part of a currency revolution”. This is embarrassing.

There is not a scrap of evidence for any of the claims, even though they fall like confetti. It is a card that “makes others seem distinctly old-fashioned”. It “readdresses the idea of service. Shifts perceptions of reward experiences…”. As a Visa card, it “redefines acceptance”. I've got a Visa card. Macquarie's card doesn't redefine anything.

“Your card can take you on a journey that is genuinely inspirational. A voyage that's so personal you can get on any flight at any time on any airline you choose.*” The asterisk referred us to the back of the brochure: “*Subject to availability.” Hold on. I can get on any flight on any airline at any time subject to availability?

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