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The seven deadly sins of networking

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Are you guilty of committing these networking sins? Lisa Butler outlines how to get the most out of social events without looking like a used car salesman.

When you work in marketing you know the value of networking to advance your business. You probably live and breathe it, spend a lot of time convincing clients to do it and helping them to do it well. Networking can, however, mean different things to different people and as a consequence there’s a world of difference between those who’ve got the networking nous and those who don’t.

If any of these networking sinners sounds like you, your business card is probably being disposed of along with the cocktail napkins…

1. The salesperson

It amazes me how many people believe they should be selling when they are networking. They launch into a well-rehearsed sales pitch about their business, the services they perform and how day after day they transform other people’s businesses. If they come up for air, they might ask you about what you do, and then straightaway talk about how their business complements yours.
Fortunately for the rest of us, these people make it easy to be a good networker. No one wants to be pitched to when they are networking, and if you focus on relationship building and finding ways to genuinely help others, you will stand out from the crowd and be remembered. A giveaway of the salesperson is that as they leave you (after you’ve only said 10 words in the 10 minutes they’ve been talking to you and are feeling a little ambushed) they have to look at your business card to remember your name. The golden rule: networking is about relationship building, not selling.

2. The business card spammer

These guys are nearly as bad as the salesperson (and often the two are interchangeable). How often do you come across the inept networker thrusting their business card at you and everyone else within reach, or talking ad nauseam about how fantastic they are and how successful their business is, then moving on to the next group of spamming victims? These people give networking a bad name, and turn people off being involved – their idea of a successful evening is clearing their business card holder.

At a lunch I attended recently, one guest handed out her business cards to everyone at our table then moved onto the next table – she didn’t speak to anyone, just squeezed in between guests, did a card drop and moved on. No one at the table knew her name, what she did or why she was even at the lunch – her impact? Nothing more than a waste of money printing the cards she dropped on every table.

3. The wallflower

Coming to a networking function, but standing on your own in a room full of people is not networking. It may be disappointing to some, but networking involves introducing yourself to new people – people you haven’t met before – and this can be quite difficult for most of us to do. The key here is to be prepared and take your time, choose your group carefully (some groups look open to invasion and others don’t), and position yourself to make eye contact with the friendliest looking person in the group. You will be amazed at how the group responds when they see you want to join in. Be prepared to do a self-introduction and get the conversation going again, perhaps ask a question or make an observation. Be prepared to answer questions about what you do in a way that opens up the conversation, but is not a pitch. Regardless of what you’ve heard “Do you come here often?” is not a great way to start the conversational ball rolling.

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