Greetings to those of you who survived the weekend, only to be faced with the wrath of your MD or respective boss.

Featuring on the Monsieur’s menu today is an entrée of pure weird. People in my homeland love their poodles – we are well known for them. Leave it to the Americans to turn the art of ‘poodle grooming’ into a Hollywood freakshow!

While I think that there are good intentions behind this lady’s business endeavour, it has all the signs of a world gone wrong. There are some things that even the best marketer on earth would shy away from – this would be one of them…

If your innocence hasn’t been violated by hardcore poodle grooming, then Cookie Monster’s gangster rap will seal the deal.

No longer content with being Sesame Street’s resident fat guy turned health nut (the show’s producers going all PC on his furry behind) Cookie Monster has let his real thoughts be known in his cover of Jay Z’s song ‘99 problems’ – a big caveat for those who offend easily.